compassion no. 1

People always say their body is a temple or whatever. I don’t really relate to that. I think of my body more as a vessel. Sometimes I think if my body were a pet, it would be pretty neglected. I mean it would have more than enough food and water and decent shelter, but it would be like one of those feral cats who never fully adapt to domestic life. For this reason I feel like I should treat my physical expression more like I would treat a pet. That doesn’t really make a lot of sense but whatever.

I listened to this show about being compassionate this week. The guy talking said that the person who we usually need to be the most compassionate with is ourselves. In being compassionate with ourselves, we are softer to the rest of the world. I have a really hard time maintaining that compassion with myself. It seems overwhelming  a lot of times to try and think to retrain how you interact with yourself in addition to how you interact with others. Like it is too much stuff to remember all at once. I know it’s a practice that you develop over time, but I feel like I need itty bitty baby steps. I can’t multitask on that.

But I guess it might be interesting to try and start documenting my journey of compassion. Oh god, here we go..

I’m grateful to myself that I never fully give up. Even when I feel like shit and have fallen into my sunken depression mode, I don’t ever give up entirely. Okay, maybe for a couple of minutes. But then I come back and resolve to do something.

I’m grateful to the sky and space. There is no greater feeling of humility. Knowing that I’m an anomaly (maybe!) across our solar system at least makes me feel lucky. The feeling of being lost in it all excites me. Having this short opportunity to ponder on it feels special.

Okay, and last but not least.. the morning caffeine. It is my drug of choice (besides carbs). I look forward every morning to making my earl grey creme tea or buying a cup of coffee at McDonald’s.

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